


i must be charmed

by flowerings



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, First Kiss, First Love, Hockey, M/M, Size Difference, Slice of Life
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-09-16
Updated: 2018-09-30
Packaged: 2019-07-12 22:34:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 3,241
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16004681
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/flowerings/pseuds/flowerings
Summary: Ten is small.Johnny, of course isn’t stupid, anyone can see this.But he looks so much smaller when he sits with him.  When Johnny waits for him, outside his classroom and Ten smiles at him, looks upjust a bit.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> in my head ten and johnny are like a fall love affair

Truthfully Johnny never really considered himself the type to love like this.  When he thinks about it, it’s almost a bit _foreign_.

His eyes linger a little too long.

Some may say it’s cold, _calculating_.

But the feelings Johnny has grown to love... _hate_ , they dig into him with their softness, chip away, make him bite his tongue, dig his fingernails into his thigh.

Ten sits alone, a couple of tables away, flipping the pages of his textbook occasionally, unaware of Johnny’s gaze, of _Johnny_.

The lunch hour is only halfway done, Johnny hasn’t really eaten anything, has wasted the hour looking, thinking.

Eventually, they meet eyes.

Johnny looks at the other, eyes unwavering, steely.  He’s been caught , but even with his embarrassment, the heating of his cheeks rising from his neck up, the way his heart twists awfully, meanly, he looks.

Ten’s eyes flicker, unsure, eyelashes long, curving softly against the sharp lines of his eyes.  Johnny blinks, looks away when the beginnings of a smile, small, gentle, curls the corners of the other’s lips.

It’s tiny, non-existent if Johnny hadn’t been so keen, but it pushes him forward, hand rising, head tilting, beckoning, asking the other to come closer.

He hides his smile behind his hand when the other looks at him confused, and then slowly, rising, hastily picking up his things.

He’s there, in front of him, in short steps, sitting across from him, bag dropping to the floor with a dull sound.

“Thank you,” he says in way of greeting, hands nervously, awkwardly on the table, “for asking me to sit here.”

It’s a voice he’s heard in other conversations, in passing, as answers to questions that don’t really lead to anything else.

Johnny smiles at him, reassuring, maybe a bit too yielding, “I’m Johnny,” he says.

Ten’s smile widens with the introduction, shoulders dropping, more relaxed, “I’m Ten.”

-

Ten is small.

Johnny, of course isn’t stupid, anyone can see this.

But he looks so much smaller when he sits with him.  When Johnny waits for him, outside his classroom and Ten smiles at him, looks up _just a bit_.  Johnny smiles back, restrained, when he notices how different their hands are, how Ten’s shoulders, thin and narrow move with his animated movements, how the lines of his body are thin, bordering on delicate.

Johnny holds on to Ten’s books, glossy covers, frayed notebooks.  Ten is talking, Johnny knows that much, but he’s not really listening.

There’s people around them, walking to and from class.  It’s all static in his ears, prickling against the side of his head, conversations that swim around his ears, fade out when he turns just a bit and Ten’s profile meets his gaze.

It’s not slow motion, it’s not a big climax after drawn out exposition.  Johnny leans in, no preamble, kisses Ten.

It’s a hard peck, a bit forceful, if the way Ten’s head falls back with the pressure means anything.

He pulls away just as quickly.  Ten looks at him, eyes in a daze, mouth falling into a fluttering smile.  They don’t say anything. Johnny takes Ten’s hand in his free one, pulls him forward.

They don’t talk in their walk.  The usual chatter of Ten’s thin voice gone as his eyes keep flickering at the side to look the other, darting down to look at their joint hands.

Eventually they make it to Ten’s dorm building.  The bus has come to pick up the students waiting in the front.  Johnny drops his hand as the bus pulls away, presses Ten’s books back to him.  

The evening has turned the air cold, clouds turning gray as they roll over the sky.

“See you tomorrow,” Johnny says, voice rough.

He kisses him again.  A fainter touch of lips against lips, innocent, an apology.

He can feel the way Ten smiles again, uncontrollable.

“Okay,” Ten whispers, lips still pressed together.

They pull away, a stray breeze hitting them coolly.

There’s a lot of questions to ask, maybe only one answer that’s left unsaid.

Ten raises his fingertips to his lips when Johnny turns away.

He can’t stop smiling.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> come talk to me about this fic or any other ideas (im trying to write a fic for every nct pairing lol) or johnny ๑°꒵°๑ @ my [twitter](https://twitter.com/fIowerIand) or [cc](https://curiouscat.me/fIowerIand) !


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Classes don’t start for another couple of hours for either of them.
> 
> Ten could be sleeping, or even doing some last minute studying. 
> 
> Instead he sits in the fairly empty canteen, watching through sleepy eyes as Johnny lines up for some food.

The morning comes with rain, spotted times of heavy downpour, in between flashes of showers.

Ten waits in the cold morning, chattering teeth cutting against the inside of his cheek.

He presses down against his jaw, willing his body to lock against the cold.  Rain is starting to fall again, a lethargic drip drop hitting the top of his head, rising a shudder as it rolls down his cheek.

He blinks, when he looks up and there’s an umbrella over him, the heavy sound of rushing rain drops hitting overhead.

“What are you doing?” Johnny asks, voice quiet.

Ten looks at him, for a second, enough to make sure he’s not just a sleepy illusion.

“I’m waiting for you,” Ten says, trembling lips trying to smile.

Johnny takes his bag, pushes against the small of his back, fingers splaying warmly against his shirt, “Let’s go,” he says, nudging as gently as he can.

-

Classes don’t start for another couple of hours for either of them.

Ten could be sleeping, or even doing some last minute studying.  

Instead he sits in the fairly empty canteen, watching through sleepy eyes as Johnny lines up for some food.

He’s dropped his head atop his folded arms, eyes closing without meaning to.  The weather, the rain, the cold and the unrelenting stress of classes all add up to his tiredness.  Ten lets himself drift off just a bit, everything fading into the gray of the day.

His heart false starts, a halting stutter when he feels cold fingertips press to the ridge of his cheekbones, thumb a low pressure against his eyelids.

It’s fleeting, a skirting movement.

Ten opens one eye, looking up at Johnny.

“Wake up,” he says.  Ten laughs a little, sitting up, unfolding his arms, resting his head on his palm.

“I am,” he assures him, pulling the food tray closer to him, “thanks.”

He catches these moments more than anything.

Ten doesn’t ever really expect them anymore.  The carefulness that Johnny shows him, the affection that has his heart missing beats.  

He never knows when to expect them, they happen so sporadically sometimes he wonders if he’s made them up.

The interlock of their hands, the cool touches.  He can count the number of kisses the other has given him with one hand.  Chapped lips, tacky with lip balm, always a promise but never delivering.

Johnny scoops some of his rice to Ten’s bowl, bringing him back to this moment, eyes blinking rapidly.

“You should eat more,” Johnny mutters, head dropping as he mumbles, “you’re so small.”

Ten grins, picks up his chopsticks and starts to eat, “thank you.”

-

Ten watches as the rain falls.  His classmates have gone, under their own umbrellas.  He waits for the downpour to lighten up, thinks maybe he can make a run for it.

He sighs, cursing his stupidity.  If he hadn’t been so out of it in the morning, so caught up in Johnny, he would have been smart enough to bring his own umbrella.

As if summoning the other, he sees the tall outline of the other boy, walking across campus, all in black, umbrella in hand.

He gets closer and Ten takes notice of his rosy cheeks, tinted from the cold, the way his hair flops over his forehead, parted in the middle, knuckles red from their grip.

“I won’t be surprised when you catch a cold,” Johnny says as a greeting.  Ten watches as he steps under the scaffold, dropping the open umbrella on the floor.

He doesn’t get a chance to ask what’s going on.  Johnny surprises him as he begins to undo the buttons of his long wool jacket.  

His mouth opens, still wanting to ask _what are you doing?_

But Johnny ignores his expression, shrugs off his jacket and places it over Ten’s shoulders, “you have to take care of yourself,” Johnny’s tone borders a little at annoyed but Ten can’t take it seriously when he looks down at the way the jacket fits him too big.

Under Johnny’s gaze he sticks his arms through the long sleeves, fingers shivering as they do up the buttons.  Johnny picks up his umbrella with one hand, grabs Ten’s hand in another. 

-

The sun has set, rain is still falling, pelting against his room’s window.

He hangs Johnny’s coat across the chair of his work desk.  He’s showered. Now warmed up from the fall weather. 

Under the pine smell of his body wash he can still pick up the lavender scent from Johnny’s coat.  It’s unexpected, just like everything Johnny has given him so far.

He smiles as he opens his laptop, decides that he likes it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> excited about the new 127 comeback !!! lol
> 
> thank you to everyone who has read and left kudos ♡´･ᴗ･`♡  
> next update will be next weekend °꒵°
> 
> come talk to me about this fic or any other ideas (im trying to write a fic for every nct pairing lol) or johnny ๑°꒵°๑ @ my [twitter](https://twitter.com/fIowerIand) or [cc](https://curiouscat.me/fIowerIand) !


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _sleep well_
> 
> It had taken a considerable amount of time to send that. Two words that had been deleted and typed over and over before finally pressing send.
> 
> He locks and unlocks his phone, nerves rising, mind thinking of the worst case scenarios. 
> 
> He freezes when he sees the other typing, the three dots jumping on screen. He’s not sure what he’s expecting.
> 
> _Thanks, you too._
> 
> _See you tomorrow :)_

“I like you,” Johnny says.

It’s abrupt.  But not a surprise.

It quells the suspicions Ten has been having, feels silly that there has been a doubt.

They’ve kissed twice.   _ Johnny _ has kissed him twice.

The autumn sun is streaming into the empty classroom, motes of dust floating through the beams of sunlight.

Johnny’s eyes are as dark as they always are, unwavering, challenging him.

Ten looks at his textbook, at the small printed words that blur from staring too much at them.

The answer should be simple,  _ I know _ .

But it sticks to his throat, lodging painfully, excruciatingly awkward.

Johnny looks at him and Ten, Ten  _ finally _ smiles, spreading slow like syrup, easy, unstoppable.

“Me too,” it’s clunky, ungraceful, confusing.

Johnny’s expression softness, Ten thinks that in the quietness he can _just_ make out the faint sound of Johnny’s beating heart.

There’s no kiss, Ten looks at the other boy, eyes wide, waiting, hoping.

But Johnny only gives him a smile, it’s wide, open, exposed, asking, _trusting_ Ten to not hurt him.

Johnny stands up to leave, Ten watches as he puts away his things, smile still there, clearly satisfied.

“I’ll pick you up tomorrow,” he says, voice restrained, trying to keep a semblance of composure.  

It’s been weeks, the weather has grown colder, the sun has set earlier, Ten looks at his phone, Johnny gone but the string of numbers saved to his contacts feels so much bigger than they should.

-

_ sleep well _

It had taken a considerable amount of time to send that.  Two words that had been deleted and typed over and over before finally pressing send.

He locks and unlocks his phone, nerves rising, mind thinking of the worst case scenarios.  

He freezes when he sees the other typing, the three dots jumping on screen.  He’s not sure what he’s expecting.

_ Thanks, you too. _

_ See you tomorrow :) _

Johnny reads those two sentences more than he needs to.  

He doesn’t respond to that, unsure how to keep the conversation going, too tired to think about it.  He lets himself drift to sleep, thoughts of Ten fading into dreams.

Johnny wakes up to a dark morning.  The sun hasn’t started its rise. He takes a quick shower, changes into his practice clothes.

-

The ice rink is cold when he enters.  He’s not the first one there. When he walks down to the locker room he sees the other boys on the team in states of undress, lacing up their skates.

He takes a spot near his locker, dropping his duffel bag into the floor, untying the laces of his skates.

The coach eventually calls them out, the ice rink now littered with bright orange cones in complicated patterns.

He hears the harsh sound of the whistle, voice barking for practice to start.

When he gets out, after rough encouraging pats from his teammates, a reminder of their upcoming practice and season schedule, Johnny shivers.

The warm shower he’s taken makes the cold air of the autumn morning harsh against his skin.

His hair is wet and if he’s not careful he could catch a cold.  But he’s running late, can’t bother to properly cover himself as he begins the walk to Ten.

-

He feels the stare before his eyes can meet the other's.

He’s carrying his practice bag, skates tied to the strap, hair wet, breaking up, standing at angles with the morning wind.

He reaches for Ten’s books without much of a word, cheeks dusting with the faintest pink blush at the incessant stare.

“You’re going to get sick,” Ten says, blinking out of the their stare down, mouth forming into a worried frown.

“I won’t,” Johnny says, voice edging on a promise, “I’m used to the cold.”

He starts to walk and Ten follows him without a choice, expression some sort of complicated hesitation.

“You didn’t tell me you play hockey,” he says as he catches up, voice still a bit deep from sleep.

“Season just started,” Johnny murmurs, “it’s just practice for now.”

Ten walks beside him in silence, looking at the way his feet crush the fallen leaves under the soles of his shoes.

“I can see you play, right?” he asks once they see the edge of the main campus.

Johnny clears his throat, turns to look at the other, he blinks at the smile Ten gives him.

“You don’t have to,” he answers.

“I want to,” Ten assures him.

“Ok,” Johnny relents, a feeling bubbling up inside him, something bordering giddiness, _happiness_.

They’re meant to have breakfast together but Ten takes his books back, smile apologetic.

“I have a meeting with my professor,” he says, eyes shining in the morning sun.

It’s the perfect time for a kiss, a voice inside his head yells, screams, demands for it.

Ten is looking at him again, eyes wide, the corner of his lips curling cutely.

“Call me if you need anything,” Johnny reaches for his phone, “I’ll be free after 4 pm.”

“Ok,” Ten echoes, voice skirting into the faint sound of a laugh.

His heart stops, it feels so awfully terrible.  Johnny thinks this must be what dying feels like.  The sudden stop of his heart, the deep chasm of nothingness spreading inside of him.  When he feels thin fingers wrapping over his wrist, pulling him gently, forward, _downwards_ , until lips connect with his cheek and he can smell the faint scent of vanilla and something floral.

“I’ll call you even if I don’t need something,” Ten pulls back, pleased with himself.

“Ok,” Johnny concedes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks to everyone who has read and left kudos on this little story ♡ᴗ♡ !  
> i know it's a mess but thanks for giving it a chance!
> 
> im working on another johnten short fic i'll try to post it soon! ✖‿✖
> 
> come talk to me about this fic or any other ideas or johnny ๑°꒵°๑ @ my [twitter](https://twitter.com/fIowerIand) or [cc](https://curiouscat.me/fIowerIand) !


	4. Chapter 4

The rain had been too hard for Johnny to fight through.

Ten had grabbed his hand, eyes determined and brought him up the stairs into his dorm room.

Johnny looks around, hears the click of Ten closing the door.

The room is dim, curtains drawn together.  It’s neat and simple, bed spread in shades of white and dark royal blue.  His work desk organized, looking straight out of a catalog.

His hand drops away from the other’s and he turns to look at the smaller boy.

“Your clothes are wet,” Ten says, Johnny looks down at his shirt, even if he can feel the way the material of it sticks to his body.

“You’ll get sick,” Ten continues, going to his dresser, “you should change.”

Johnny goes on autopilot, unabashedly peels of his shirt, used to changing in front of the entire hockey team.  He pulls his shirt over his head, crumples it in his hands, wincing at the way water leaks out of it.

He looks up to catch Ten’s stare, cheeks flaring, blush creeping to the tip of his ears.  There’s a shirt in his hands, it looks soft, worn in.

Johnny waits for Ten to offer it to him, doesn’t just want to reach for it.

“You must really work out,” Ten says, voice sounding a bit dry, “ _a lot_.”

Johnny looks down at himself again.  He knows he’s lean, has worked hard to see the cut lines and ridges of muscles he doesn’t show off too often.

“Not really, it’s just from hockey,” he says, shrugs, “have to be fit, you know?”

“ _Yeah_ ,” Ten says, voice sounds thin, strained, “you should go to the bathroom, there’s towels there.”

Johnny stumbles back a bit when Ten pushes the shirt onto him, urging him towards the bathroom’s door.

He changes quickly, looking himself in the mirror, wearing Ten’s t-shirt.  One of the sleeves is fraying, the yellow of the shirt fading in places, a dull color all around.

It fits him small, tight in places he knows Ten doesn’t have issues with.  The hem reaches down just enough to cover his stomach and it’s dry and warm so there’s not much to complain about.

When he walks back out Ten is already changed into what he assumes is his sleep wear.  Cotton pajama bottoms and a striped shirt. He’s wearing glasses and Johnny takes a little too long looking at the way they sit carefully on the bridge of his nose, lenses magnifying his eyes just a bit.

Ten lays down without a word, flopping down with a sigh, eyes closing right away.  Johnny looks at him, still hovering by the door, looking as the other boy buries himself under the covers.

“It’s still early,” he says, taking some steps forward.

“I’m tired and it’s rainy,” Ten mumbles, duvet covering the bottom half of his face.

Johnny sits down, the creaking of the bed loud in the quiet room, “I’ll leave if you want to go to sleep,” he says.

Ten’s hand reaches out to grab his wrist, fingers gripping tightly.

“It’s raining too hard,” he says.

Johnny knows this is his way of asking him to stay.  Maybe a step forward before they take two steps back.

“Lay down, please,” Ten asks, voice quiet, “Just for a little bit, until the rain passes.”

Johnny listen to the way the rain hits against the window panes, the rooftop of the building.  The rain is cold but Ten’s hand on his wrist is warm and soft, his eyes flicker to look at the other.  He startles when Ten’s eyes are open, looking at him, imploring.

"You should take off your glasses, then," his voice is quiet

And like always he gives in.

Ten turns off the lamp on his bedside, slides of his glasses, places them down with soft sounds.  The room grows darker. It is still early but the heavy clouds makes the day cold, dark and dreary.

Johnny looks at the ceiling, the faint shadows seeping in from the window, the empty sound between the raindrops.  He considers getting up and leaving. But before he can think about actually doing it Ten’s hand interlocks with his, fingers slotting between his own.  Johnny doesn’t move, doesn’t say anything. He closes his eyes, just enough to try to fool the other. If Ten were to look at him carefully he would be able to see his eyelashes fluttering with his effort.

The bed creaks with Ten shifting.  Their hands get awkwardly stuck between their bodies.  Johnny can smell the detergent from Ten’s pajamas, vanilla and blossoms.

His breath hitches, heart stopping when he feels Ten’s lips pressing a kiss on his own.

“You should have kissed me,” Ten whispers.

Ten _must_ know he’s not sleeping, breath no longer steady.  He must be teasing, testing.

But the bed dips back when Ten lays next to him again, joint hands in between them, impatient for an answer.

One step forward.

Two steps back.

And a leap.

Johnny has to take wide steps to catch up with Ten.  

But first he has to catch his breath.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks to everyone who has read and left kudos on this little (and pointless) story ♡ᴗ♡ !
> 
> ~~i swear there might be a plot...a very weak plot lol~~
> 
> it's a bit short but work has been picking up a bit so im busier than usual! 
> 
> come talk to me about this fic! or give me an idea or prompt for an nct fic ~~i have my own ideas but ofc if you based them of this fic they may be too bland lol~~ if you wanna! @ my [twitter](https://twitter.com/fIowerIand) or [cc](https://curiouscat.me/fIowerIand) !


End file.
